Caleb had another bout with pain or spasms around his port area. The doctors are still not sure what is causing it, but they have been treating it with pain medications. Yesterday’s was much shorter than the day before, so hopefully those episodes are over.
It was so funny (yet sad) yesterday when two women came in from the psychiatry department to ask him some questions. The first lady kept asking him about his fears and then went on and on talking about dying. I was trying to interrupt her to ask to change the subject or leave when she moved on to something else. There was so much negativity in what she was saying and instead of dealing with Caleb’s fears, she was actually increasing them. It was almost palpable. The funny part was when they asked if Caleb heard voices. This is a little bit paraphrased as I don’t remember word for word:
“Do you hear voices sometimes?”
“What do the voices tell you?”
“God told me earlier today that I was going to be OK.”
“Was that your inner voice talking to you?”
“Did you hear it from the outside through your ears?”
“If it wasn’t your inner voice and you didn’t hear it from the outside, what do you think it was?”
“It wasn’t my inner voice, it was God speaking.”
First Corinthians 2:14 says, “But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.” When they left, I told Caleb that we needed to pray for them so that they could hear God’s voice and believe. He asked me what all they were talking about and I told him about that verse and what it meant. It was almost as if the sunshine returned when they left. I am not trying to demean them or what they do – I know they are trying to help, but there was a definite negative presence that seemed to lift once they left.
Caleb had his second treatment last night and things went way better than the first. The medicine that had caused the hallucinations the day before has been put on the allergic list, so it’s gone from his regiment.
We ave still been on a high about his oncologist saying that the tumor has softened. He said it was very good and that the chemo must really be working fast, and he was a little surprised that it had softened so much so quickly. I just smiled. He has seen all the scriptures posted around the room and he will have a chance like many others to see the power of God work in Caleb.
My optimism is not a form of denial. It is based purely in the fact that I know that God is real and His Word is true. I have had some great talks with Caleb the last few days about the spiritual realm and he just started reading This Present Darkness. When I told him about it, he was anxious to learn more and I knew that would be a great way for him to see it in action since he loves to read. One thing I told him the other day when talking about using the Word as a sword (Hebrews 4:12) is that the battles we do in the spiritual realm through prayer and faith are first won in that realm before we see them in the natural realm. So when you see me standing firm and quoting verse after verse, it is because we are fighting according to 2 Cor 10:3-4 which says, “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds.” We are using the Word as a weapon against the enemy. The victory is already ours!
Todays verse – “Thanks be to God! Because He gives us the victory, making us conquerors through our Lord Jesus Christ!” 1 Cor 15:57